Roger Waters Superstar

A parody of Jesus Christ Superstar


From the Authors (who wish to remain anonymous):

Before you get into this, we, the authors, would first like to clarify a few things. The first and most important thing is that this work is parody and should be viewed in that light only. We had a great time writing this and hope that you will have as good a time reading it. Despite the fact that we take some very nasty shots at all of the characters involved, we are both big fans of their music. If it had not been for that music, we probably never would have met. We are though, tired of the now decade plus of bickering that the two camps have taken part in and it is from that frustration that this piece was born. We do not imply that any of these events actually took place. This is just a satirical fictionalization of our take on the Floyd wars of the eighties and nineties. We found ourselves on opposite sides of the fence when the disagreements began. We feel that gives this work a certain balance. No side is treated any more kindly than the other. The only apology we make is to Tim Rice whose masterpiece we have so viciously torn to pieces. Sorry Tim, but it had to be done and your piece was the perfect vehicle.

We have one technical note that we would like to make. Throughout the years, many different variations on Jesus Christ Superstar have been made available to the public. Which one is the best has been the subject of as many debates as the "which one's pink" debate. If you wish to follow along with Jesus Christ Superstar while you read this, it should be noted that this parody is based upon the original 1970 London recording originally made available on Decca records in the USA which featured Ian Gillan in the role of Jesus. We have included though, parodies of two songs ("Then We'll Be Decided" and "Could We Start Again Please") which were not on the original but were featured on later versions such as the movie soundtrack.

Without further delay, we present:


Roger Waters Superstar

A Rock Soap Opera

Copyright © 1999

Grandeur On Their Minds

(Nick, pacing his estate, contemplates the future of Pink Floyd, with or without Roger.)

Nick


What the Fuck???

(or Who Needs Information? The Fans, That's Who!!!)

(Fans pester Roger for something. Anything.)

Reg heads

Roger

Reg heads

Roger

Reg heads

Roger

Reg heads

Jim Ladd

Roger

Reg heads


Strange Thing Mystifying

(Nick and Roger ridicule each other in their own…particular…idiom.)

Nick

Roger

Fans

Roger

(Could someone give my career a push…please.)

Then We'll Be United

(Dave is feeling insecure about a Rogless Floyd)

Dave

Steve

Dave

Steve

Dave

Steve

Dave

Steve

Dave

Steve


Everything's All Rog

Jim Ladd

Nick

Jim (to Nick)

Roger

Jim


This Roger Must Fry

(After Nick's unsuccessful attempt to sway Roger to rejoin the Floyd, Dave makes his pitch to a silent room of record company executives.)

Storm Thorgerson

Dave

Reg Heads

Steve O'Rourke

Floyd Camp

Reg Heads

Floyd Camp

Glenn Povey

Rick Wright

Floyd Camp

Reg Heads

Floyd Camp

Glenn Povey

Rick Wright

Dave

Steve

Rick

Dave

Steve

Rick

Dave

Rick

Steve

Rick

Dave


Whore Gilmour

(Roger's fans, the Reg heads, taunt Dave.)

Reg Heads

Dave (to Roger)

Reg Heads

Roger (to Dave)

Reg Heads

Reg heads

Fan club president

Reg heads

Fan club president


Poor Inflatables

Roger


Executive's Dream

Sony music executive


The Stadium

(Gilmour & company play at a stadium somewhere near you)

Concession stand merchants

Roger (banging on wall outside the stadium)


(Fans inside looking over the wall - no pun intended - give Roger the raspberry.)
(Rog heads into the studio to record his latest masterpiece)

Roger's session players

Roger


I Don't Know How To Sell Him

(After weeks of unprofitable shows, the rows of empty seats begin to frustrate Jim.)

Jim

Roger

Jim


Nick's Sellout/Bland For All Time

(Nick feels his first twinges of guilt for selling out Roger and for having his name associated with truly lame music.)

Nick

Steve O'Rourke

Dave

Steve O'Rourke

Dave

Steve O'Rourke

Dave (snickering)

Nick

Dave

Nick

Steve O'Rourke

Dave

Steve O'Rourke

Dave

Nick

Fans


The Last Concept

(Roger finds that he doesn't have as many fans as he thought.)

Fans

Roger

Fans

Roger

Nick

Roger

Nick

Roger

Nick

Roger

Nick

Roger

Nick

Roger

Fans

Nick

Roger

Nick

Fans


I Only Want To Say

Roger


The Betrayal

Nick

Roger

Fans

Roger

Media (Questioning Roger who just stares in contempt)

Dave

Roger

Steve

Media


Ezrin's Lapse

(Ezrin tries to go incognito to a Waters concert and is harassed by the fans.)

Fan #1

Bob Ezrin

Fan #2

Bob

Fan #3

Bob

Jim

Bob

Jim


Sony & Rog

(Roger is brought before Sony to answer for his poor sales.)

Sony Executive

Mariah Carey

Sony Executive

Roger

Sony Executive

Fans


Harvest's Song

(Roger must now answer to Harvest.)

Harvest Executive


Could We Come On Tour Please

(Jim Ladd, regretting the unprofitable KAOS tour, petitions the other camp)

Jim

Nick

Jim

Nick

Jim (Walking away dejected)


Nick's Dearth

(Nick arrives at Wembley Stadium to watch sound check. He is now consumed by guilt.)

Nick

Dave

Rick

Nick

Fans (outside stadium)


(Rick comes back in, injects Nick with some happy drugs, and drags him off to a Caribbean vacation.)

Trial Before Sony

(Olympic Stadium, Montreal. Roger is returned to the scene of the 1977 spitting incident to have his fate determined by Sony. Gilmour, afraid of losing market share, enlists the help of the fans.)

Sony Executive

Gilmour

Sony Executive

Roger

Fans

Roger

Sony Executive

Roger

Sony Executive

Fans

Sony Executive

Fans

Sony Executive

Fans

Sony Executive

Fans

Sony Executive

Sony Staff Accountant

Sony Executive

Sony Staff Accountant

Sony Executive

Sony Staff Accountant

Sony Executive

Roger

Sony Executive

Fans

Sony Executive


Stupid Star

((Roger sits in Sony's main office waiting to be dropped from the label. Nick speaks to him on speaker phone from the Caribbean.)

Voice of Nick

Dave & Nick's backup singers (including Doreen & Katie who went where the money is better)

Voice of Nick

Dave & Nick's backup singers


The Crux Fixation

(Roger is laughed out of Sony's world headquarters by secretaries & custodial staff.)

Roger


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